Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

What I want you to know about being the sister of a convicted sex offender

What I want you to know
Original Article

09/26/2014

By Natalie

I used to believe in monsters. Until my brother became one. Three years ago, I got a call that my brother had been arrested for molesting his step-daughter. Certain there had been a mistake, I was obviously dumbfounded. Until he confessed. Through slurred words, drunken ramblings and tears that, yes, he had, and on more than one occasion. The arrest was just the very first drop in a roller coaster of emotion.

This event has single handedly shaken my world like nothing before it. It has transformed my family in a way I could have never imagined. Each of us in separate and different ways.

I'm happy to say I think it's made me a better person. I know this may be hard for some people to reconcile but what I want people to know is there are no such things as monsters. I no longer believe in "bad" people. My message to my daughters (and yes, I have all girls and one is the same age as the victim) is there is no such thing as "bad guys." There are good people who make bad choices.

Before you start to type your heated disagreement let me stress that I in no way condone or excuse my brother's behavior nor any other kind of deviant, illegal behavior. My brother was the perpetrator in this instance not the victim. But I refuse to crucify him either. And that's what I have really learned. Who am I to proclaim an individual, made in Christ's image, a monster? How can I possibly know the many facets of one person? Can anyone of us be defined so narrowly? Would you want to be? It makes us feel safer to categorize and label others because we can distance ourselves, disassociate with our fellow human beings and relieve ourselves of the all-consuming question, "How could this happen?"

Sunday, March 23, 2014

OH - 'Let me live my life': Registered sex offender shares his side of story

Depressed man
Original Article

03/22/2014

By Hannah Sparling

NEWARK - _____ is a registered sex offender.

He’ll admit to that, no problem.

He is not, however, a pedophile. He is not a child molester, and he has no interest messing with anyone’s kids, he said.

A lot of people don’t know the story,” said _____, 44, from his West Main Street home. “They figure, because someone’s a sex offender, ‘Oh, he likes little kids.’ But that’s not always the case.”

Before you go judge someone, do your homework.”

_____ is one of three sex offenders who were registered as living within 1,000 feet of Par Excellence Academy, a local elementary school. By law, registered adult sex offenders in Ohio are not allowed to live within 1,000 feet of a school, preschool or day care facility, but that restriction applies only to people convicted after July 1, 2003.

_____ says his offense was in late 2002 and his conviction in early 2003. Newark Law Director Doug Sassen said officials are still working to determine _____’s exact conviction date — it was out of state, which makes tracking down records more difficult — but if _____’s story holds up, he can stay put.

Par Excellence officials said they want _____ and the other two offenders to move, but _____ doesn't think he should have to. Moving is expensive, he’s happy where he is now, and he’s not causing any trouble, he said.

This past week, _____ sat down with The Advocate to share his side of the story.

Trying to move on
It started back in 2002. _____ was 31 at the time, living in New York, and he met a girl from Connecticut online. The girl told him she was 18, and one day, _____ and a friend picked her up to hang out, he said.

_____ said he spent one day with the girl. He kissed her, but they never had sex, he said. He put her on a train to go home, and that was that, he said.

Then _____ found out the girl was only 17. The girl’s grandmother pushed the issue, and authorities responded and arrested _____, he said.

Ultimately, _____ was charged with sexual abuse in the third degree, a class B misdemeanor in New York. He spent 45 days in jail, and he pleaded guilty to that charge only to avoid a legal battle that might have taken more time and cost him his job, he said.

_____ accepts some blame — “It was my fault because I should have checked the ID,” he said — but at the same time, he doesn't feel his offense is one that should haunt him for life. The girl willingly went with him to New York, he was under the impression the entire time she was an adult, and the two only kissed, he said.

I’m still shocked why I gotta report for life (as a sex offender) when I only did 45 days (in jail),” he said. “It’s a misdemeanor.”

_____ is considering going back to New York to try to get his conviction overturned, but for now, he’s happily living on West Main Street with his soon-to-be wife, _____.

_____ was skeptical of _____ when they first met — she told him she was fact-checking everything he told her — but his story checked out, and now she trusts him and is sticking by him no matter what, she said.

Facing difficulty
The sex offense makes life difficult sometimes — it’s hard for _____ to find work, for example, and anytime the couple moves, everyone in the new neighborhood gets notified about _____’s sex-offender status — but _____ knows what kind of man _____ truly is, she said.

For _____’s part, he tries not to let his status get to him.

It doesn't really bother me because I know what happened that day,” he said. “I’m not bothered by it. I’m still going to continue to live my life.”

_____ moved into his house about two years ago, and he checked with officials at the time to make sure the location was OK, he said. He thinks he’s within his rights, but if people still try to make him move, he’ll do his best to fight, he said. The way he sees it, he pleaded guilty, he did his time and now he should get to start fresh.

I’m not moving. I’m fighting,” he said. “I already know I got the charge. Just leave me alone already. Let me live my life.”

Everyone makes mistakes. I did my time for it. I’m not gonna keep doing time.”

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Juvy sex offender crying out

Video Description:
No where to turn, at wits end with life, crying out for help before it may be too late.


Video Description:
I was charged at 15. I am now 30. my whole life ive been punished for a mistake I made when I was 15. it will never end till I die. so I am ready to die. besides, for to be absent from the body is to be present with the lord....at least I hope.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Everyone to be Stigmatized

Letter
The following was sent to us via the TELL US YOUR STORY form and posted with the users permission.

By Vance:
At the dawn of the hysteria 24 years ago, I noticed the obsessive practice of media creating "victims" with competing grudges. If you feel offended you may claim victim status, and turn the tables by having them put on a list. Nobody can prove you are not victimized out of fear, or concern for "the children", but many lists are being developed to protect us from danger. Will you be on one of those lists? I was due to be married BEFORE the hysteria hit, but AFTER the "victim" came of age. Just 5 weeks prior I was arrested for a love letter she wrote but misplaced at school. The social outlook in 1990 did not YET label me as being a horrible monster. In fact there was some tolerance for "Romeo & Juliet" type relationships. Stories abounded of judges dismissing cases when marriages were already planned. The change in zeitgeist came from above. Today you could be arrested on abuse charges if you allow your daughter to be "legally" married at age 16. YES, I committed a crime, and STANDARDS MUST BE UPHELD. But what are todays standards? They are not the same as 24 years ago, but as a "sex offender" you will be ostracized as though they were. Get your torches and pitchforks ready for Romeos' and "mashers" of 70 years ago! Those in senior centers and retirement homes MUST be held to account for acts of the distant past by applying our lofty standards of today. New lists are being created to keep the vigilantes happy. Lists of "potential" terrorists, abusers of all types, gun owners, protesters, etc., but will we be safer with YOU on a list of the potentially bad people?